“Ugly hell gape not! Come not, Lucifer! I’ll burn my books—ah, Mephastophilis!” I was screaming and kicking, nearly at tears as the demonic extras dragged me away with Adam sat high above suited against the fiery backdrop that was supposed to be Hell. Strange, the director originally intended for Satan to be present only when he had lines but the charismatic air that Adam oozed convinced the directors he needed more time on stage, even if he said nothing at all his eyes were capable of showing unbelievable cruelty all framed by a chiseled face that only amplified the coldness of his characterisation.
Inner Demons prt 2.
”And scene!” The director called, “good job everybody, Tristan the only thing that would have made that better would have been if you actually cried. There were moments I truly believed this was hell on earth, excellent everybody, just excellent! Get your beauty sleep for tomorrow!”
Everyone was clearing off to their dressing rooms, chatting away about the prospect of tomorrow and glad to know their efforts would finally be worth something, but Adam stayed in his place and didn’t take his eyes off me. Something about those wild eyes had me paralyzed as he stepped forwards into my personal space, taking his time with each motion so I knew that he was coming for me. I had been flustered whenever he used this power over me that he knew he had, this time I wanted to feel in control, cool and confident. “I hope you’ll forgive my faux pas at our last rehearsal, let me make it up to you. Would you like to go out tonight in celebration of tomorrow? You’ve been working so hard, I never see you blow off steam like the other actors” Adam’s proposal was very convincing, not his request to go out. What he said the other day about taking plunges to better understand my character. I seldom go out clubbing anyway but I could use relief after last night’s fiasco with Phil. I replied coyly, “Certainly, and think nothing of what you said before, I could learn a thing or two from you. You have a presence that lasts long after your character’s off stage, any advise you have to offer I’ll be sure to listen.”
When out of our period costumes Adam met me outside the doors, his caramel hair gave a look of purity that clashed with the fitting leather jacket he had on, which prompted more excitement than I allowed him to see. “Hey! So, where do you want to go?” I had to be the one to ask, I hadn’t been out in so long I wasn’t even aware of what the night life had to offer, truthfully I didn’t care where we ended up.
“Definitely Seventh, it opens in about half an hour and that’s how long the cab’ll be to get us there,” off the timing I knew wherever we were heading was a long way from home, from Phil. And I loved that.
When we got in the cab Adam inquired “Where do you normally go out?” Damn. He caught me out.
”Actually I haven’t gone out in a long time. I mostly stay at home with Phil. Tonight would have been movie night.”
“Wow, movie night? Hardcore” In a beyond sarcastic tone, but he returned to sincerity when saying “you could use a night to chill out, sounds like you’re stuck in a rut.”
“Well that’s what I’m trying to do. You were right, if I’m going to play Faustus properly I need to know what it’s like to take chances and indulge myself in what others would object to.”
He cut me off, “Is this just about the play?” With that I noticed his body turned on his seat, and I could feel his heat he was that close. If I had to guess his next words would be something on the lines of “You know you want to.”
“Your stop boys” The taxi driver interrupted. I couldn’t tell if I was relieved or not. I had come out on a mission. To finally give in to my temptations and impulses but it had to be on my own terms.
Entering Seventh the smell of sweat had already made itself perfectly clear to the point you could taste it. I took advantage of the flashing colours of offensive lighting to go into the bathroom and collect my thoughts. I received a text from Phil, like any nagging conscience that’s the last thing I wanted to hear from during this time. The text read, “I’m really sorry about last night. It was all my fault. Please come home. I’m worried, you left your medication here. I love you.”
What I once saw as sweetness and tenderness now just looked like passivity and suffocation, I hated it. If anything this fueled me with the desire to take control. Storming out onto the dancefloor I found Adam waiting and looking perplexed. His moves remained sensual and inviting as his hands begged me forward showing a subtle hip grind, but his face looked unlike I’d ever seen it. He was surprised with the confidence in my step and the look of recklessness I was carrying. We both knew what was about to happen, as his hands steadily moved down my waist I forcibly grabbed them and pushed us tightly together and kissed him. Unlike any time I’d kissed Phil and unlike what Adam expected. It was the kiss of no return.